What Should I Talk About on a First Date?

Singles, ambivalent to what they want, without the right knowledge and tools dating can be a very nerve wrecking and awkward experience. It is important to not to blame society, the opposite sex, and fate for your involuntary single status but instead empower yourself with knowledge and keys to success.

I believe relationships are what life is about, my deepest passion is helping free people from whatever is keeping them from love, especially deep nurturing bond between that special someone. Through experience I have learn a very valuable lesson. Good fortune rarely comes in the form you expect it to. So my fellow single’s don’t limit yourself to people who you think are your type, screen too much in beginning and you will diminish your opportunities.

Lets take a look at today’s society…..there is so much focus on career and no education on how to make a relationship flourish! To succeed in your career vs personal relationship required very different skills, in fact exactly the opposite of each other, so it is no wonder there are a few hiccups when it comes to dating! No one teaches us how we behave to succeed in relationships.

To succeed in your career required you to be, competitive, businesslike, wary of others and focused on the bottom line. To succeed in a relationship requires you to be cooperative, flexible, emotionally available, honest, committed through sickness and in health.

Let’s get to the questions, I am really excited about tonight’s seminar and I do aim to enlighten you and create many opportunities to find true love faster!

What Should I say on a First Date?

I am so glad you this question! The reality is what you say on your first date can make or break your dating cycle. It is really important to be light hearted on a first date, focus on the positive, look forward and never EVER look back! Looking back and trading war stories about past relationships, past dates, lovers, divorce, children and too much focus on business is really ugly stuff and you can hardly expect any organic chemistry to develop let alone your date to eventuate to a second.

Both men and women are guilty of this. Often women will screen men asking them how many women they have dated, when and why they ended their last relationship or divorce, remember women it is not a counselling session men often will tell it as it is very black and white while you both walk away feeling frustrated and dissatisfied.

Men it’s time to take control and bring back the conversation and playfully say ok I’m here to get to know you, tell me more about you…let’s stay positive. I want to hear about your last amazing holiday…were did you go? Where would you like to go next? Just remember we have a past and that is what makes you unique and special! So stay positive and in control of the conversation!

Taking about anything negative is best to be avoided whether it is the bad food at the restaurant, if it is too noisy, or the traffic, you will only seem like hard work and wingey and definitely NEVER and I say NEVER talk about a bad dating experience or blame another person. This will only work against you and seem as though you are a not sought after but a product of what someone else discarded!! This will leave your date running for the hills, humans love to a challenge, particularly men and dating someone that is sought after is more attractive than dating a person that someone else didn’t want…think about it, makes sense…

Another biggest blunder is talking too much!! Both men and women are guilty of this, showing your date that you can talk under water in not a very good sign. It sounds like you are sales person selling yourself! Did you know the most fascinating person to talk about is yourself, so share a little, and let your date shine and as they talk about their greatest experiences, and moments, it is a great way to break the ice and for you to get to know that person. Have fun with it and laugh! On the other hand if you are on the receiving end of having someone just talk about themselves, rather than being judgemental and turning off use this as an opportunity to really get to know him or her and playfully say, wow you are a fascinating person, I would love to share a few of my adventures/stories with you! May I… (remember hiding under those jitters could be a fabulously amazing person!)

The aim of your first date is to get to know your date and determine whether you have common ground, interests and values with this new person. Don’t expect firecrackers and blissful moments of stars to erupt, followed by infatuation, sure this does happen in the movies and can happen on your first date but… not very often and it is often mistaken for lust. An attraction is certainly important but to be more realistic after your date, you will often walk away with a nice feeling about that person, you felt that were pleasant and intriguing and it certainly wouldn’t do you any hard in getting to know them further even if you don’t see yourself walking down the isle…stranger things have happened!

Oh I have so many stories to tell here…like the moment I met my partner, on our blind date, I though nice guy but not for me…now look at us 3 years later blissfully happy!

Like the moment, Danielle, a member came back to me saying she can’t stand Matt’s voice, and he was too short and didn’t find him attractive…8 months later they were married and she has never been happier, she loves the adventure he brings into her life and finds him incredibly sexy!

Oh and my favourite…one of my members Karen said she would never date a man older and he had to have hair, no children and live in the eastern suburbs within 5 kms of her…she is now blissfully happy with a man 10 years older, than her with 4 children and he lives…wait for it in the country!

Questions to ask include, tell me about your first kiss!
If you were a movie star, who would you play in what movie?
Tell me about your favourite city in the world and why?
Ok if you had all the power in the world what would you do with it?
The deserted island question, if you were on an island where would you go and what would you take with you, if you could only take 3 things!

So happy dating, never give up and simply enjoy the moment…you will find true love sooner that you can imagine!

Samantha Jayne is dating Expert, Presenter and Matchmaker for exclusive matchmaking company for professional singles Blue Label Life. She has matched thousands of couples who have walked down the isle, is a guest speaker and presenter at seminars and events. To find the one you are looking for or to simply meet like-minded professionals visit http://www.bluelabellife.com.au