The reason leading to the misunderstanding among people in the world is the problem in communication, particularly relationship communication problems. To some extent, each and every one of us shares nothing in common. Each of us has our own set of mind, faiths and points of view. Therefore, learning to accept the differences of the community around us seems to be the answer to the communication problems, and misundertanding.
Many recommend being honest with your partner and sharing your thoughts and opinions openly. That is actually a good action to take since magicians, psychics and mind readers are the stuffs of legends. However, do be careful with the way you use your words. You may be stating a simple truth, which is that your partner is not doing something right, but from your partner’s sensitive point of view, you may appear to be criticising and condemning. Knowing how to use the right words, perhaps at the right time as well, could help prevent a misunderstanding. Even the most patient and calm-tempered person would have a weak point which you may accidentally hit and get them enraged.
When saying your piece, think first before speaking. Think about what you are going to say and avoid making any criticising statements. Your main purpose is to send your partner a message about what is happening in your relationship. Slowly add the idea of what you feel about the situation. Do not make any statements that involve your partner. This, always remember to keep your feelings under control and remain composed. You would want to avoid sounding accusatory and making your partner defensive, which may become a barrier to your communication.
Avoiding the blame would be best to start a discussion about a possibly sensitive issue. Convincing your partner that he will not be criticised or that is it all right for everybody to make mistakes would open his mind and allow him to reflect on his mistakes and reconsider his actions. Making him guilty or criticising him will only upset him, resulting in undesirable consequences.
Here is an example of how a person could phrase it if a wife is too caught up in her shopping spree: “Shopping is a great way to distress and is much fun to have new items in our possession, particularly since you have worked so hard to keep our house in shape. Thank you, but I do hope we will have enough savings for rainy days. As we all know, earning money isn’t easy.” Note that the main issue is not addressed directly and instead, it praises the wife for her hard work as part of the family, thus making it sound as if her shopping extravaganzas are deserved. The last sentence will send to her the message that she needs to watch how she spends the money and when she thinks of the reason herself, she convinces herself.
It may be difficult for us to change the way we speak, and maybe even harder to maintain our changed speeches, but if we keep trying and practising, we would eventually learn to say the right things at the right time, and with ease.
Next, learn more about how to Build Trust in Relationship from preventing breaking up.
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